Notes From an Eventful Week

A world has happened since I last posted
I was skewered and showered and praised and roasted
I'm finding how trivial are obligations
More trivial still when they're roots of frustrations
There's still so much more, and I'm sorry I berated
My prof re: my thesis but my epiphany's belated
And I've opened my eyes, yet again, once this week
And seen it's one small thing in a larger life-filled streak.

There are just a few things on my mind that I wanted to talk about this week...so there's really no theme to this post except that I think I'm starting to see things with a little bit more perspective this week. So here goes. I shall use an itemized list a la ESC300.

(1) Thesis is really just a drop in the bucket of my life.
...And is not so much worth complaining about because (and here's where it really mimics my who undergraduate experience) I've learned a lot over the course of the work and when it comes down to it, I'm fairly proud of what I've done. And anyways, whether or not thesis goes well or doesn't go well, it doesn't much matter in the end because there are a lot of things that are more important that I need to worry about and waste energy on.

(2) Three of my closest friends got where they wanted to go this week.
I don't want to give away the surprise in case they want to keep it on the DL but congratulations goes out to these three. I'm totally proud of you all, I'm so happy that you were able to get what it is you wanted, and prouder that you'll be able to do what you want to do. I have to admit that I am a little bit jealous because things haven't seemed to work out for me, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I'm proud and happy and supportive of you. Congratulations -- you're on your way.

(3) I'm writing a book.
I've decided to write a collection of short stories. I have a lot to say, and whether or not anyone wants to listen, I guess, is immaterial (although maybe this isn't entirely true...because I'd prefer if people listen). But anyways, taking this short story course this semester has really opened my eyes to how great this genre is, and I think there's a lot I can do with it. I'm halfway through the first (and title-giving) story of the collection...and whether I actually finish all the stories I want to write is another issue...but we'll see. I'll probably post a few of the stories on my blog...just to get reactions or so. Criticism is helpful and always encouraged.

(4) I like depressing songs.
I'm currently listening to Grandaddy's "Saddest Vacant Lot in All the World" for the fifth time, and it's on repeat.

(5) My indy partner is still an idiot.
I don't know what else to say about this.

(6) You just gotta stick with it.
Here's where I offer some advice to my biggest little brother, who may or may not read this post. But I've sort of come to realize in life that you've just got to suck it up sometimes and stick with it no matter how tired you get, because there's a lesson to be learned in everything. And the fact that you can learn something should be incentive enough to keep with it and keep trudging through.

(7) I'm a crybaby.
I feel like crying and I'm not entirely sure why, and that makes me feel like a big idiot.

(8) If you're scared -- do it.
I'm glad that the last few weeks have been filled with me doing things that I have continually been afraid of doing because while I may have sucked at every one of them, it boosts the confidence that much more. And that feels good amid everything else that seems to be trying to push me down. I'm glad I finally did last night what I've been trying to do since I was 12.

(9) I shouldn't pre-judge.
Mabel and I went to see Berg's opera Wozzek on Wednesday because we desperately wanted to make fun of it, having studied it in RCM History V. ("Blut...blut....bluuuuuuuuuuttttt.") Going in with such pretenses was all well and good, but it's a good thing we kept an open mind because if we hadn't we would have enjoyed it as much as we did. And we didn't even make fun. It was just really good.

(10) I love music.
I had forgotten, somewhere, between the madness of first year problem sets and fourth year thesis, the joy that I got from music. I haven't played much piano since my ARCT exam, four years ago (holy shit--has it been so much time?!) and little guitar in the past year. It's sad that we get too busy for the things that make life worth it. And I'm looking forward to getting back into it. Hopefully I haven't lost too much of my skills and technique and that whatever I have lost is recoverable. Chopin Etudes, Op. 10. That's my next project.

I'm done. That's the synopsis for the week. Super nostalgia, sure to come in the following week. But for now I have to work on my last healthcare case and get a move on my thesis. Oh yeah...and enjoy every minute of it.