Standing corrected...and dreading school

What is this fiend, this feeling internal
Devouring my core with things damned and infernal
The imminence, suffused with sadistic demonic,
Neither woolen my eyes nor disguised the ironic

I am sad.

And this is for the simple reason(s) that firstly, I was wrong, and secondly, it's hitting me hard.

Firstly, I was wrong, because I originally had said that this would be a great thing, and I was looking forward to it. Secondly, it's hitting me hard, because it's tomorrow.

Of course, I'm talking about that demon of ours, school. Yes, I am sad.

This summer started like most others, with me wishing that the summer would just breeze by in the summery way that summers do, and that school would start asap. And it ends on the opposite note with me wondering where the last four months went, dreading school, and pleading with god to let me have just one more bbq dinner out on the deck.

It's my penultimate night at home, and it's bad because for the first time, I'm actually not excited about moving back downtown. I'm sad to be leaving home because there's a possibility that this is the last summer I ever spend at home. I've had a great time with my brothers this summer, and I haven't played with them (or with the xbox) so much, since, well, a helluva long time.

Some of my best and oldest friends are embarking on new adventures which take them far away from home, and this summer was the last chance I had to see them for a while. Be it starting med school, a huge research opportunity, a job...it only serves to remind me that this year really will be different.

And the worst part...the real reason why I'm not looking forward to school (drumroll, please): I'm terrified. Because for the first time in my life, I have no idea where the next few months will take me. I may be in school...I may not. I may be in a job...I may not. I may live at home...I may not. I may leave the country, the province, the city...and the uncertaintly kills me.

So to the people who took this year off, PEY or research, who's relieved at not having to deal with ROSI or the new asknci girl or the september-return-to-school, remember that I'll be laughing at you at the end of the year.

And I'll laugh at you again next September.

Good luck everyone with whatever it is that this year brings for you.